September 21, 2017

I still remember our first date.

I was so nervous, but masa tu we were not that lovey dovey ke apa kan. K la lets not call it our first date. It was the first time that we met after more than a year of not seeing each other.

We went to a book fest?! Lol! How nerd.. But still, we chatted between the rows of books. I'm with vampires and some motivational books, and you're with some mystery books if I'm not mistaken.

Our first eating spot was a mamak restaurant. Cheapskate gila ya ampun hahahaha tapi tu la dua dua lapar and The Mines was so packed with people. We went outside instead, hence the mamak it was. K tak cheapskate gak la, you paid for both meals; mine and yours. Lol so gentleman of you *smirk*.

I remembered that I ordered maggi goreng, and me being nervous and shit, I couldn't finish my meal (dalam hati cakap 'mesti mat ni judge aku sejenis yang membazir when in reality aku la si pelahap wahahaha'). But yet, you just smiled and asked me if I'm ready to head home, without saying anything about the unfinished food (ceh tunjuk baik la tu konon lol k tak dia baik k sampai sekarang still baik hahaha).

Being 19 years old, we were not pampered with cars by our families (andddddd I didn't have my licence yet anyway *rolled eyes*) so we took public transport. Again, being such a gentleman, he accompanied me all the way to TBS. It was almost 6 if I'm not mistaken (or around that hour). Then only he said that he had promised his friends (who were actually somewhere closed to us) that he'll be heading back to his hostel with them and at that moment they are on their way to TBS.

It was a hard goodbye, because we didn't know when will be the next time that we'll see each other.


Today is the 22nd day of September in 2017, and he turns 22 today.

Yesterday was the nth time of our random dates, and I bet he's glad that I didn't cancel it like I always did before lol! In fact, he had to wait for me to finish attending to emails and stuffs for my upcoming event. He sat patiently in front of me, behind my laptop's screen. It was about half an hour, and as I shut down my laptop, I could see his smile. A broad, cheeky smile.

He must be so hungry. As I looked at the time, it was half past 1. Lunch time was about to over.

Dating me is not easy eyy?
Well dating you is not easy too *smirk*, so lets not talk about it shall we?

Nothing in the mall came to his interest in order for us to fill our tummies, so we moved to the next mall and had 3 plates of main dish on our table.

Writing has been our forté, but seeing each other eye to eye while talking is wayyyyy more different than Whatsapp. Maybe because it summed up emotions, body language, gestures and many more with the stories/messages that we're telling each other, so it lifted up the mood to another higher level. And it is a lot more better with food that came along (read: fatty couple).

From my Pahang short trip to his plan for his final year project, then to his technical stuffs and my upcoming events. There's a lot more, and they all fit in those 2 hours. Padat.

This time around we realised that it's not about how special our birthday celebrations should be, because our friends and families had done a splendid job in it. But our time together is more valuable, regardless of surprise or no surprise in celebrating our special days because our time is limited.

In the end, we shared the joy that our families and friends had brought to us.


I am thankful that he understands when I choose my family and friends before him, when workloads overlapped our dates, when my endless exams are around the corner during his semester breaks. Yes, there has been times that it seems like everything is before him and he almost walk away, but I guess blank spaces between us can't be left for too long (ye ye je kau eh tapi betul la dia mai balik haha thank youuu).

Dear you, lets finish up with what we're going through right now (complaints are allowed no worries but still, keep going ehh), making our parents happy and proud.

Happy 22nd Birthday!

November 30, 2016

"From appreciation grew to respect.
Respect grew to like.
Then like grew to love.

A deeper love than I could ever hope for.

Give him a chance.

Maybe you don't like him now, but maybe you might love him later."

- Mary's Dad, The Wedding Planner (2001)

November 3, 2016

Meet my Nyet

Let me introduce you to my best friend; Aliah the Awesome (yes she called herself that lololollll jk she is awesome).

If you've known me through college, then you must recognise her as she is like my ultimate sidekick. We're only separated lately as erm erm our paths are different? Hahahahah nahhh not really much different actually, it's just that each of us has our own pace.

Since the first day we met, we never talk about graduating together, or what to do next in the future (except I did applied to be her housemate kakakakakakakaka but she always said that she needs to think about it first hewhew how dare you?!!). I guess that's because we're living the moment? Hahahaha!

But, when it comes to the day that our results for the final semester of CAT came out, it hit me hard. Like real hard. Why? Because we've been together for about 1 and a half years but when she's stucked there, I had to move on by myself. That is when I started to regret that we didn't talk about that dream of ours to finish this together.

She insisted me to move on with ACCA, but that doesn't mean I'm leaving her just like that. I am a terrible teacher I must say, but I still helped her with my notes and encouragement (although that means tears involved too hahaha you'll never want to know about it).

And now, she's here. We're back together now, and going through the same path.

Aliah, we have different pace but the same goal, so keep on going. I'll keep on pulling you forward so that both of us can make through this. I love you, buddy.

May 31, 2016

Let me inspire you, soon

I was touched by Faizal Tahir's performance in AJL 30. It was an everyday-song I should say, a norm to hear it on the radio. But, he'd brought something different on stage that night.

(I'm supposed to study for my finals LOLOLOLOLLLLLL....)


Aku sebak. Like totally sebak. And from this performance I was dragged to another video of the same song, but this time he sang it for the Syrian refugees. Towards the end, one of the children suddenly cried. Faizal Tahir sang a Malay song (I'm pretty sure that is the first time they heard it), yet it touched the child's heart. And it touched mine as well. Bergenang woiiiii..

I've seen him during his past (he's not wild or what not, but I think you can imagine how an adult behaves in his early years of adulthood), and seeing him involving in this kind of mission makes me think why can't I do something like that.

In fact, I met Ida yesterday. She's my some sort of 'supervisor' during my 6 months in Petro. Apparently she had quit her job as a science communicator, and now is serving MERCY Malaysia. She'd always been a hero that saves animals, and now she involves in saving human's life.

I guess it's time to realise that it is not about money berkepuk-kepuk after all. How should I start then?

April 19, 2016

'Aku ni random kan'

Yes, sampai ke akhir hayat. Kau pergi pun random jugak. Why didn't we see the signs that you gave haih..

Semalam on the way balik, aku linkkan all the things that happened these past few months. Kau ajak kitorang pergi picnic, endless wayang, makan sana sini and karaoke some more. It's like every single week, mesti ada kita outing mana-mana. Cuma satu je kita tak dapat nak pi, Sungai Kemensah. Pernah terdetik dalam fikiran aku, tak penat ke minah ni hahaha.. Tapi, I never had the guts to say no to you. 

I've known you since January 2014, and kita betul-betul rapat last year, as we were the only one yang sambung ACCA right after CAT, together with Zuza and Alwani and a few others. Randomly buat plan weekend getaway by going to Melaka.

But this year, it seems as kita makin rapat. Padahal kau dah bawak kereta since last year kot.

Maafkan aku sebab tak call kau balik lepas line putus.

Tapi aku bersyukur, dalam hari-hari terakhir kau atas muka bumi ni, sempat lagi kau call kitorang. I'm glad that among all the things that started to part away from your memory, we were not one of those. Siap spam lagi kat group yang kau buat untuk kita berlima dengan benda-benda yang kau kirim dari Cameron Highlands. And 'jagung manis' was your final 2 words for us. Seriously weh hahahaha can't it be something better?

Raihan, kami minta maaf tak dapat tunggu kau sampai kau dikebumikan. Tapi, kau tengok tak ramai yang datang melawat kau semalam? Kau kata takde orang sayang kau kan hahahahaha.. Ramai weh, ramai yang sayang kau. 

You know what, Luqman ada mintak gambar kau sebab nak post kat FB APROS. Bila kitorang scroll gallery, muka kau mostly mengundang dan bersama food hahahaha.. Ada la satu dua yang decent, tapi yang lain tu ya Rabbiiii....

I still remember that moment I was suspected to have dengue. Kau bagi aku makan ramen. Sengal tahu tak hahahahaha dah la aku demam. Tapi masa kau sakit kepala, aku tak mampu nak buat apa sangat. Aku mampu picit je.

Last week was like a trial session for us. Kau tak datang kelas, and biar aku ngan Jir duduk berdua. Kitorang makan berempat. And today, we felt just like last week, as if you're still alive.

I lost a good friend of mine.

Raihan Farhana, I love you. I love you. I love you. Thank you for all the memories. Our prayers will always be with you my dear.

Up to this moment, we miss you so much. We've done almost everything with you. And everywhere.

Take care Rai. Muncul dalam mimpi kitorang bila-bila?

Al Fatihah

Raihan Farhana binti Hj. Abu Samah
13 June 1995 - 18 April 2016

April 17, 2016

Part of the journey to success

Since day 1 of CAT and ACCA, this is my very first time of failing any paper. Yes, I failed. Not one, but two.

It hurts. It hurts a lot. My plans were screwed up, my parents were disappointed (they didn't say it, but I knew they were), my lecturer moved to another institution, and I'm lost. Totally lost for the first few days. In fact, I've been trying so hard to not blaming Him.

I don't know if I'm the one who's unlucky or December 2015 exam had been so hard on us, but my friends screwed up too. 

I could still remember that moment when we opened our email together. Jir, Rai and I had F9 class that morning, Zu and Aliah waited for us for our next class at 11. Normally results were out around 8 in the morning, but it delayed at that particular time. I'm not so sure if my mind was with the lecture, because I kept on refreshing my phone. I gave up at 9, and decided to keep my phone in my bag. As soon as F9 class had finished, we met at Family Issues class. I thinked Jir opened her email first, she passed F7 but failed F5. Rai and me failed both. Zu passed F4, but not F5 and F6.

My heart sank, and I'm clueless on what should I do next. I had no mood for the next class (the semester had just started anyway), so all of us decided to lepak at our usual makan place. As I sent a Whatsapp message to my lecturer, I started to cry.

My dream to fly abroad had been washed away. And now, this. BOOHOO!!

So, I then decided to repeat one of the papers in March 2016, so did Zu and Rai. However, Jir planned to repeat F5 in December 2016, so did Zu and Rai. I don't think I could cover F7 in a month time, in fact my F5 was nearing to the passing mark. Therefore, I moved on to repeat F5. Alone.

I've got myself mentally ready and keep on practicing the questions. I worked on the concept and theory part more as that was where I think I screwed up.

It was only a few days left when a lecturer condemned those who took the March paper. He said we're being fool enough to fail the previous sitting, and now we're making a silly decision by repeating a 6-month preparation in less than 2 months. I had worked so hard to keep a positive mindset that I'll pass this sitting, as well as coping with F8 and F9 classes. And yet he simply crushed me into pieces. I was supposed to go back with Rai, but I could not stop myself from breaking into tears any longer. I went for Asar prayer, and cried my heart out.

I promised to myself that I'll pass this sitting no matter. I wanted to show him that I'm not like what he'd thought.

Alhamdulillah I have Him with me all the way. He had made things easy (easy as in I'm relaxed throughout the 3 hours of examination) for me. In fact, my feelings was different compared to last sitting.

Result Day

I went to an Orang Asli village in Mendrod, Gua Musang for a community service together with my classmates since last Friday. We arrived in KL around 10+ at night, and it was very tiring. Nonetheless, it was fun though (despite the misundersanding part, well that's a norm right?). Too bad Rai couldn't join as well.

I was supposed to go to college as I had class at 9 this morning, but I'm tooooooo tired.

And guess what? This was what I saw as I checked my phone.

It's EARLIERRRRRRR than it should be. 

But seeing this as I hit the email notification (I was being very dramatic LOL covering the bottom part as I was too scared so I wanted to read it slowly),


Maybe He wants me to pray harder.
Maybe He wants me to work harder.
Maybe He wans me to focus more.

Syukran Ya ALLAH!

p/s: I hope they pass too!

March 20, 2016

al Fath

Sebelum ni saya tahu surah ni sebab nama awak.

And I barely know that surah al-Fath boleh bagi kemudahan untuk belajar, until I read it somewhere recently. That is how powerful is your name.

You are definitely a great guy. I believe there's some strength hidden within you. Keep on believing in yourself! Moga awak jadi yang terbaik, as always.

February 24, 2016

25th ♡

Every couple has their own story, including my parents.

The way it starts, the lovey-dovey part, all the crisis (don't deny it! You do know it did happened..), and how they manage to hold each other firmly up to this day. Not to forget their cheekiness, lazy days and also when they are so energetic as if they're high on sugar LOL

There are many power couples out there, but my favourite remains my parents at all time. Their love-hate relationship captures my heart, especially when they put their disagreement aside to ensure we're at ease.

Ma & pa, keep on loving each other. A few years more, and we'll be serving you as the ultimate king and queen.

February 9, 2016

Visit Malaysia #6: Kuala Lumpur under the blue sky

Another random photowalk with the E and a new friend. Super random, and to be honest, it's our first time of shooting together. We went around Kuala Lumpur to explore the great places for photo shoots.

Here are my partners for the day:
ZUL, this apek-face is my partner in handling the batch during F5
NAZMI, a good friend of mine since F4
Presentingggggg, the talents of the day:
ALYA, this chatterbox has just came from Brisbane
ZUBAIR, Nazmi's friend which is now our new friend
Here are the places that we've discovered:

The top floor was empty as it was a public holiday, so I'm not really sure about the normal days. At 12 in the afternoon, the view is so greaaaaattttttt with the perfect lighting from the sun (yes, it was freaaaakingggg hot too but for the sake of great photos we put that fact aside).

To get here, from the KLCC park (fountain is on your left and KLCC shopping complex is in on the front side), turn to the left and walk along the sidewalk. You'll pass Masjid as Syakirin (right hand side), and you'll see a 4-storey of parking complex across the road.
The skyline 
The buildings:

Them, in action:

Dah boleh jadi iklan drama

There are a few platforms there, and the middle ones are used for boarding. We took pictures at the other side (beside the road) of the platform which we believe is the side of the office. Some pedestrians used it to walk across the station too.
The KTM KL station
You have to take the Kelana Jaya line LRT and stop at Pasar Seni Station. As you walked out of the station, there is a bridge connected to the KTM station opposite some small shops. 
The old train

The walls are old school:

OOTD in the making
Single perspective
3. Sultan Abdul Samad Building
A very famous building in KL, and it was named after Sultan Selangor in 1890s. This remarkable building was built for administrative purposes before the function is moved to Shah Alam. It was now turned into museums and some other tourism venues.

Helping out a tourist to find her ways in KL
This building can be easily found as you stop at Masjid Jamek LRT station. With the mosque at your left, walk along the sidewalk and the building will be on your left.

Boys are being boys
4. Dataran Merdeka (Independence Square)
You can easily locate it which is right the opposite of Sultan Abdul Samad's Building. Another hotspot for the tourists, and also a great place to lepak and sembang with friends.

It's almost 6, and we're exhausted from all the walking and laughing. So, we took a few shots as the evening light was soooo awesome, and sat on the grass to enjoy the view.

Well, that's all for now. There's a lot more to be discovered, wait till the next post!

February 2, 2016


Who says relationship is easy? It's not easy I tell you, especially with work piling up and limited time available for each other.

And yet, as we get to spend the time together, we'll talk endlessly. That's for sure.

Small fights are normal for us hahaha.. But we'll be fine the very next day. You might judge us, but who can stay away from their best bud for a long time? Well at least I don't.

During one of the 'small fights', I came across with this song. Up till now, each time it happens, I'll listen to this. Imagine if you sing it, woah!

You gotta go and get angry at all of my honesty
You know I try but I don't do too well with apologies
I hope I don't run out of time. Could someone call a referee?
'Cause I just need one more shot at forgiveness

I know you know that I made those mistakes maybe once or twice
And by once or twice I mean maybe a couple of hundred times
So let me, oh, let me redeem, oh, redeem, oh, myself tonight
'Cause I just need one more shot, second chances

Is it too late now to say sorry?
'Cause I'm missing more than just your body, oh
Is it too late now to say sorry?
Yeah, I know-oh-oh, that I let you down
Is it too late to say I'm sorry now?

I'm sorry yeah
Sorry yeah
Yeah, I know that I let you down
Is it too late to say I'm sorry now?

I'll take every single piece of the blame if you want me to
But you know that there is no innocent one in this game for two
I'll go, I'll go and then you go, you go out and spill the truth
Can we both say the words, say, forget this?

Can we both say sorry, and forget this? Exactly. That's what keep us strong till now.

In case you didn't know, I'll fall for notes like this.
p/s: 143

January 3, 2016

Hidup ni, nak tuju ke mana sebenarnya?

December 10, 2015

Robe Day

It has been 2 weeks since my graduation, and I've finished CAT in December 2014 (yup, it is almost a year already LOLOLLLL). And this late post is due to my final exam that has just finished yesterday (DON'T YOU DARE TO SPOIL MY HOLIDAY BY ASKING HOW WAS IT HOHOHO), mianhe!

Honestly, I did not feel the heat of graduating, even when the invitation letter came into my family's mailbox. It was my parents that were so excited about it, asking me about what to wear, or have I paid for the graduation pack already, and chanting about it for weeks. I guess it is because the finals is just around the corner (can you imagine? Exactly a week after graduation, that's crazy!), so I don't really bother about it.

It remains that way until the day itself, as I woke up that morning, and looked at my baju kurung. It's a mix of white, black and copper brown, with orange as the theme colour. Then I took a look at my robe, I've ironed it last night together with the orange hood (it's the colour of my faculty).

'Okay, it's today,' I murmured to myself.

I got up, showered, and did my Subuh prayer. My family was getting themself ready too. I slipped into my clothes, and all of sudden, I could feel it.

We reached PICC around 7.20, and I was supposed to be at Level 2 at 7.15. I simply took the lift (it was reserved for the VIPs, but who cares, the VIPs were not here yet), as I know it would take me a lot of time as I was wearing heels. Yes, I repeat, HEELS.
Too excited LOL
As I reached Level 2, I saw my friends and they were so busy working on the hood. And taking pictures hahaha
Then, the ceremony began, we're the first session for the graduation.
Forgive my Abang for the shakiness haha

My hands were all sweaty before I got on stage. Miss DD was there, guiding us, and she patted my shoulder and said that everything will be fine.

Perfect timing by Abang
Say hello to the Minister 
I nailed it! Great shot by the official photographer woohoo
I guess the main reason I was not really into celebrating my graduation is because I was expecting Ma will be on stage on behalf of me. That was my dream since the result for CAT Semester 1 had been released in August 2013. I could not fulfill my own dream.

HAAAAAA curi bunga kitaaaaaaaa
But as my parents were really excited about it, especially Pa, the pain healed. I was so glad that Pa was happy, really happy I could say. It went the same for the rest of my family.

My strength, my happiness, my everything
Well, I ain't going to stop. ACCA, here I come.